Naturally there are slow ways. But time is of the essence these days. I searched far and wide. Consulted with many wise men and leading scholars in the field. Fast ways to lose weight was kind of an old wives tale for the longest time. Only whispers among the weigh loss community. Someone would get wind of it from someone's cousin or roommate who maybe knew a guy once who heard about it. But nothing really materialized. But after extensive research and deductions, I have finally found a viable solution.

Fast ways to lose weight does not require a degree in physical education or organic botany or anything. Fast ways to lose weight just require a little common sense and a little follow through. That's it. That's the big secret to fast ways to lose weight. It's as easy as that.

Fast ways to lose weight does require a little elbow grease though. You should be prepared to put in long and thankless hours of hard work. Physical work which includes constantly doing jump ropes whenever free. Or converting your office desk to a bench press table. Or replacing your office chair with one of those giant bouncing balls that work the abdominals I think. These and many other things are just some of the small gestures you can take to begin your journey to scrawny-ville. Population: you.

Another thing that will incontrovertibly hasten the process is wearing tight fitting clothes that give off the illusion that you are thin. Also try wearing vertical stripes or platform shoes to appear taller. Stand next to noticeably more rotund individuals to appear even thinner. These are a few tricks to shave a few pounds off. Or give off the appearance that you've shaved a few pounds off. And in the end, is that not what is most important?

Another piece of advice that you can add to the deception category is to say you were born with a rare bone disease that makes your skeleton three times the volume of a normal skeletal system. Say that you have less than two percent body fat and everything that is bulging outward is just bone. Not only will she think you've just loss weight quickly, but she'll also be sympathetic to your terrible affliction. Use this opportunity to smell her hair while she's not noticing.

And there you have it. The story has been broken. Broken wide open. Tread carefully now with this knowledge.